We Never Asked for Wings Summary & Key Insights

Vanessa Diffenbaugh's "We Never Asked for Wings" tells the interconnected stories of five young women navigating the foster care system and its lasting impact on their lives. The novel unfolds primarily through the perspectives of these women, each grappling with trauma and seeking a sense of belonging and self-discovery long after leaving the system.

The central character, Lizzie, is a fiercely independent young woman working tirelessly to secure a better life for herself and her younger sister, Maya, also a former foster child. Lizzie carries the weight of past neglect and the complexities of their shared history, constantly battling the fear of losing Maya and repeating the cycle of instability. Their story underscores the enduring impact of early childhood trauma and the challenges faced by sibling pairs navigating the system separately.

Another key character is Hannah, a successful lawyer haunted by her past experiences in the foster system. Her outward success masks deep-seated insecurities and a persistent sense of otherness, highlighting the insidious nature of the lingering effects of trauma, even in seemingly accomplished individuals. Her journey involves confronting her past and finding the courage to forge genuine connections despite the fear of vulnerability.

Furthermore, we meet Angel, a young woman struggling with addiction and self-harm, who finds unexpected solace and support in an unlikely friendship. Her story provides a stark portrayal of the struggles faced by vulnerable youth, showcasing the devastating impact of neglect and abuse and the difficult path towards recovery. Angel's arc highlights the importance of community and the transformative power of genuine human connection.

The remaining two women, Claire and Sarah, each contribute to the tapestry of experiences presented in the novel, adding layers of complexity to the overall narrative. Claire’s story illustrates the challenges of navigating a life marked by instability and the constant search for a sense of permanency, while Sarah's journey explores the complexities of forming attachments and the struggle to overcome ingrained patterns of self-sabotage.

The overarching theme is the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity. The novel emphasizes the lasting impact of the foster care system, demonstrating how it can shape identities and create both opportunities and obstacles in the lives of those who experience it. Despite the trauma and challenges each woman faces, the novel celebrates their strengths, their perseverance, and the enduring power of hope and connection. The title itself suggests the lack of agency these young women had in their pasts, but through their individual stories, the book emphasizes their agency in shaping their own futures. Ultimately, "We Never Asked for Wings" is a poignant and powerful exploration of survival, resilience, and the enduring quest for belonging.