How to Love Summary & Key Insights

Katie Cotugno's "How to Love" explores the complexities of grief, self-discovery, and unconventional love through the intertwined narratives of two teenagers, Liv and Liam. The novel unfolds in the aftermath of a devastating car accident that claims the life of Liv's older brother, the vibrant and popular, James. Liv, grappling with survivor's guilt and the shattering loss of her sibling, retreats into herself, becoming withdrawn and emotionally distant from her family and friends.

Liam, a quiet and observant classmate, shares an unexpected connection with Liv, fueled by their shared experience of loss. Liam lost his mother years ago, and while he doesn't outwardly express his pain, he understands the invisible scars Liv carries. Their bond develops gradually, built on unspoken empathy and a shared need for solace. Their relationship is far from conventional; it's a slow burn, characterized by quiet moments of shared understanding rather than grand romantic gestures. Their connection provides a lifeline for both of them, helping them navigate the turbulent waters of grief and begin the healing process.

Central to the narrative is the exploration of different forms of love and loss. Liv's love for James is palpable, even in his absence. The novel explores her struggle to reconcile her memories of him with the grief that consumes her. Her relationship with Liam is a testament to the possibility of finding love in unexpected places, a love born from shared trauma and a mutual need for healing. The novel also delves into familial love, showcasing the fractured relationship between Liv and her parents as they struggle to cope with their own grief and support their daughter. Their attempts, though sometimes clumsy, underscore the depth of their love and their unwavering commitment to Liv's well-being.

Throughout the novel, the concept of "how to love" is not presented as a singular, easily defined answer. Instead, Cotugno presents a nuanced perspective, suggesting that love takes many forms and manifests differently depending on circumstances and individuals. It's about acceptance, empathy, understanding, and the courageous act of vulnerability. The journey of healing isn't linear, filled with ups and downs, moments of intense pain intermingled with glimmers of hope. The novel highlights the importance of seeking support, finding strength in unexpected connections, and allowing oneself to grieve and heal at one's own pace. Ultimately, "How to Love" is a testament to resilience, the power of human connection, and the enduring capacity for love even in the face of profound loss.