Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship Summary & Key Insights

Joshua Harris's "Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship" advocates for a Christian approach to dating and relationships, promoting courtship as a superior alternative to modern dating. The book isn't a narrative with a plot in the traditional sense; instead, it's a guide offering principles and advice for young Christians navigating romantic relationships. The main "characters" are the implied reader (a young Christian man or woman) and their potential future spouse. Harris doesn't portray specific individuals; rather, he presents idealized scenarios and hypothetical situations.

The central plot, if it can be called that, revolves around Harris's argument for a courtship model built on biblical principles. He posits that modern dating, with its casual encounters and lack of commitment, often leads to emotional and spiritual damage. He contrasts this with courtship, which he characterizes as a structured, intentional process designed to determine compatibility and build a strong foundation for marriage before significant physical intimacy occurs.

Key themes throughout the book include the importance of parental involvement, spiritual compatibility, and self-awareness. Harris strongly emphasizes the role of parents in guiding their children's romantic pursuits, suggesting that they should actively participate in the courtship process, providing advice and oversight. He argues that shared faith and values are paramount for a successful marriage, advocating for couples to assess their spiritual alignment before progressing in their relationship.

Harris stresses the need for self-reflection and honest self-assessment before entering a courtship. He encourages young people to understand their own strengths and weaknesses, their goals and desires, and to seek spiritual guidance in discerning God's will for their lives and their relationships. He outlines practical steps involved in a courtship, such as getting to know someone within a group setting before pursuing a one-on-one relationship, maintaining appropriate boundaries, and focusing on building friendship and understanding.

Another crucial element is the emphasis on purity. Harris strongly discourages premarital sex and physical intimacy, urging young people to wait until marriage to express their love physically. This commitment to chastity is interwoven throughout the book's advice and is presented as a crucial element of a God-honoring relationship.

The book concludes by reiterating the benefits of courtship, portraying it as a path toward a more fulfilling and lasting marriage built on a strong foundation of faith, commitment, and mutual respect. While the book's advice resonates strongly with conservative Christian audiences, it's important to note that its perspective is specific to a particular worldview and might not appeal to those with different religious or philosophical beliefs.