Before I Go Summary & Key Insights

Colleen Oakley's "Before I Go" centers around the intertwined lives of three individuals grappling with mortality and the profound impact it has on their relationships and perspectives on life. The story unfolds primarily through the perspectives of Lily, a young woman diagnosed with a terminal illness; Jason, her estranged and grief-stricken brother; and Sam, a seemingly carefree college student who unexpectedly becomes entangled in their lives.

Lily, facing a limited timeframe, decides to create a "Before I Go" list, a bucket list not focused on grand adventures, but on mending broken relationships and experiencing simple joys she’d previously neglected. This list serves as the central driving force of the narrative, revealing Lily's deep-seated regrets and her desire for closure before her death. Her list isn't about ticking off experiences; it’s about reconnecting with the people who matter most. This includes forgiving her father, rekindling a friendship, and making amends with Jason, who harbors immense guilt over a past event that fractured their relationship.

Jason, deeply impacted by Lily's diagnosis and their fractured past, initially struggles to process her illness and his own lingering resentment. He represents the weight of unspoken emotions and the difficulties of sibling relationships burdened by past trauma. His journey revolves around confronting his own past mistakes and learning to forgive himself and Lily. He initially resists Lily's attempts at reconciliation, hampered by his own pain and the unspoken grief surrounding their shared history.

Sam, introduced as a seemingly inconsequential character, is drawn into their lives through a serendipitous encounter with Lily. His initial role is that of a helpful stranger, assisting Lily in completing her list. However, as he gets to know Lily and Jason, he becomes a catalyst for change, offering a fresh perspective and inadvertently playing a role in their emotional healing. He represents the innocence and hopefulness that contrasts with the heavier emotions surrounding Lily's illness and the family's struggles.

The overarching theme of the novel is the exploration of mortality and its impact on relationships. Oakley effectively portrays how the prospect of death compels characters to confront unresolved issues and grapple with their deepest fears and regrets. It highlights the importance of communication, forgiveness, and appreciating the preciousness of life and relationships. The novel also delves into the complexities of family dynamics, showcasing both the enduring strength and painful fragility of sibling bonds. The "Before I Go" list acts as a metaphorical journey not only for Lily, but also for Jason and even Sam, prompting them all to reconsider their priorities and embrace the present moment. Ultimately, the novel is a poignant and emotionally resonant exploration of life, loss, and the enduring power of human connection.